retail ettiquette

I've spent the last two years of my life working in retail. After dealing with the many characters that come in and out of my place of employment, I have come up with five rules that should be accepted before shopping in my store:

1. I am an associate. I get paid minimum wage, and do NOT make the rules. I am not the one that decided you cannot take the unsensored jewelry into the fitting room with you or that you and your friends can't all cram into one dressing room and take pictures of each other. So please, make my life a little easier and just use some common sense.

2. I did not create the return policy and neither did my manager. The store I work at has a strict return policy that requires a reciept with any return and we only give back store credit. I know, it sucks. However, screaming at me and telling me how terrible it is is not going to get you your money back. So don't even bother.

3. You get what you pay for. My store prides itself on cheap prices and great sales. Do not expect these clothes to last forever. Bringing back a pair of leggings that you paid $5.50 for and got the second pair half off and telling me "I'm concerned about the quality of the clothes here" is not going to make me feel bad for you.... and you still won't get your money back.

4. I don't care if you shop here. A lot of times after a screaming match about the return policy or lack of a reciept, customers will make the ultimate threat: "Well, that's the last time I'll be shopping here!" Guess what? Your presence will not be missed and the company surely won't go under because you decide to shop elsewhere. Plenty of fifteen year old girls will still shop here.

5. I am not the maid. If you try seventeen shirts on in the fitting room, that's annoying. If you try seventeen shirts on and leave them inside-out and not on a hanger sprawled all across the fitting room, that pisses me off. My job sucks enough as it is having to pretend to be nice and friendly, I do not want to fix and hang up all of your clothes that you decided you didn't want. Not to mention you probably had me get some of those shirts down with the big pole.

After these five rules are accepted, I will kindly welcome you into my store and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful experience. Thank you and goodbye.

"this is my favorite song"

Apparently, I throw around the phrase "this is my favorite song!" a lot, with many different songs. Although I do become obsessed with songs for weeks at a time, I began to really think about what my favorite song is and why.

After contemplating (and looking at what song I've listened to most on my iPod) for quite some time, I decided that it has to be "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. The song is fairly recent, only being released last year. Usually, I listen to a new song on repeat for a few weeks, learn all of the words, and then get pretty sick of it after a while. This song is different for me and I'm going to try and explain myself.

First of all, the beat and the orchestration of the music itself is totally mezmorizing to me. Popular music today (I will confess I'm an avid Kiss108 and Jamn945 listener) doesn't usually contain much actual "music" in the background. Coldplay songs in general prove that popular music can still be beautiful. Viva La Vida is no different.

The words to the song are also lovely. Compared to other songs on my Top 25 Most Played list such as "Got Money" by Lil Wayne and "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, the lyrics are a lot more appropriate and much more poetic.

The title "Viva La Vida" translates into "live the life." I think that that is reason enough for this to remain my favorite song.

Here is a dance I choreographed to this song for the UMB dance program:

Lyrics:

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep along
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead, long live the king"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jeruselem bells are ringing
Roman calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
A missionary in a foriegn field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you'd gone there was never,
Never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait for my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever wanna be king?

I hear Jeruselem bells are ringing
Roman calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
A missionary in a foriegn field
For some reason I can't explain
I know St. Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

and you think your family is crazy?

People have said to me "Oh, you'll never believe how loud and crazy my family is." Most do not compare to mine. My dad grew up with four sisters and one brother, creating a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins (ranging from age 31 to 6) for me. Not a single one of us is shy, and not a single one is quiet. When we all get together, it is a lot ot handle but it's always a good time and there's always a story to tell afterwards.

Summer of course brings bbqs and outdoor gatherings, and last weekend was one for the books. My whole family eating and drinking outside all day long. Things were getting loud and this is where my anecdote fits in (don't worry, video evidence will be provided). My 17 year old cousin is totally into music and in a band and so forth. He has long, flowing hair and gagued ears. My youngest aunt took one look at his ears and said "Hey, I bet we could blow bubbles through those holes." One thing led to another and led to this....

So next time you think your family is loud or crazy, think about this.