retail ettiquette

I've spent the last two years of my life working in retail. After dealing with the many characters that come in and out of my place of employment, I have come up with five rules that should be accepted before shopping in my store:

1. I am an associate. I get paid minimum wage, and do NOT make the rules. I am not the one that decided you cannot take the unsensored jewelry into the fitting room with you or that you and your friends can't all cram into one dressing room and take pictures of each other. So please, make my life a little easier and just use some common sense.

2. I did not create the return policy and neither did my manager. The store I work at has a strict return policy that requires a reciept with any return and we only give back store credit. I know, it sucks. However, screaming at me and telling me how terrible it is is not going to get you your money back. So don't even bother.

3. You get what you pay for. My store prides itself on cheap prices and great sales. Do not expect these clothes to last forever. Bringing back a pair of leggings that you paid $5.50 for and got the second pair half off and telling me "I'm concerned about the quality of the clothes here" is not going to make me feel bad for you.... and you still won't get your money back.

4. I don't care if you shop here. A lot of times after a screaming match about the return policy or lack of a reciept, customers will make the ultimate threat: "Well, that's the last time I'll be shopping here!" Guess what? Your presence will not be missed and the company surely won't go under because you decide to shop elsewhere. Plenty of fifteen year old girls will still shop here.

5. I am not the maid. If you try seventeen shirts on in the fitting room, that's annoying. If you try seventeen shirts on and leave them inside-out and not on a hanger sprawled all across the fitting room, that pisses me off. My job sucks enough as it is having to pretend to be nice and friendly, I do not want to fix and hang up all of your clothes that you decided you didn't want. Not to mention you probably had me get some of those shirts down with the big pole.

After these five rules are accepted, I will kindly welcome you into my store and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful experience. Thank you and goodbye.